Steel Panther #ShesTight

I probably should have titled this blog:

Dicks, Chicks and Flying Drum Sticks

If you haven't heard the awesomeness of Steel Panther stop reading now and google them. WAIT - finish reading and then google them... But when you google them wear gloves, no one really knows just where those boys have been... not even themselves.

@RMPllc recently wrapped a music video with these guys that I got to produce. Let me tell you, nothing about the shoot was normal, but everything that came out of the shoot was fun. The idea was simple, let's get the band on a white cyc and have them play their new single: a cover song of Cheap Trick's She's Tight. We'll surround them with beautiful girls... and chaos will ensue.

How could I resist producing this video? I got straight into the rock hard work... casting. Just kidding, the band's consummate dedication to the rockstar lifestyle and pension for big dicks (jokes) meant they already had a bevy of beauties cued up to be in the video. So it was right into the nuts... and bolts of video production: location scouting, crew hiring, and gear/vendor rentals. #meh

One of the gags Director Nathan Cox wanted to incorporate was paying homage to moments from the original music video. The opening lyrics of the song are about a phone, call so he dreamed up this idea of Michael Starr (S.P. vox) mimicking the phone call in the original video, but then we'd cut to the party-line of girls he's calling on the phone. Each with a different phone, having different reactions to the sweet nothings Mike's singing into their ears. As a producer, no big deal... I have my production designer get some different phones and we're all good.

But then, the night before the shoot, Nathan's creativity kicks in. If you've ever seen a Steel Panther video (<-- get the full load from this link) you'll notice a theme... dicks... and by that I mean dildos. Lots of them. So he calls me and says "what if some of the girls are talking into dicks instead of phones?" I laugh my ass off, and say "Great idea!" "Can you go buy some?" he asks me. #SMH #WelcomeToHollywood

Now in all my years of production, I've had to do a lot of odd things as I've climbed the proverbial ladder of success to earn the title of producer. Buying dildos was a new one for me. But time was short, our production designer already had his hands full (with non-dildo tasks), so off I went to Los Angeles's trusty adult shop @PleasureChestLA in search of prop wieners.

What I hoped it would be a well lubed grab-and-go purchase, turned into an hour-long photo orgy as I texted pictures to Nathan. The colors, shapes, sizes were all considered, and by that I mean I took so many dick pics of merchandise, that I could have made a catalog. As I was circled by customers who were shopping for that evening's extracurricular activities, I tried to play it cool amongst the shlongs, dongs and life-size fists that lined the shelves. Finally, Nathan texted me his winning erections and I was free to pull out... of the store.

Early the next morning we eased into the set, though Nathan & I quickly noticed we were outgunned for the day's schedule. So we split into two units. Nathan shot out the band, while I was elected (by myself with the director's approval) to film all the ladies and their inserts. #SomeoneHadToDoIt Ten grueling hours of scantily clad women dancing, singing while giving their best phone-and-moan faces... The band rocking, with drumsticks and dildos flying through the air. Ear-splitting rock, that between takes was jammed with laughter. It was like my teenage heavy metal dreams had all come true! Did I mention the girls got into a pillow fight?

By the end of the shoot just about every member of the cast and crew had been dry humped, donked with a dildo, or stuck with a stick... in a good way #consensual in #IndieFilm The crew kicked ass, and we got so much coverage, that we squeezed in an additional setup which didn't make the final cut of the video, but like chlamydia I'm sure it will leak... online somehow. We were tail-lights 15 minutes early, paid day of, and the only thing lingering were my ringing ears and the faint smell of latex in the studio. #JobWellDone

Much love to the band, Ben & Paul @PGM, the ladies, and our kick-ass crew.